Home Field Advantage

I have fantasized about a support group for book collectors. “Hello, my name is Christine and I am a book-a-holic.” For membership, I first had to admit that I was powerless over acquiring (not necessarily buying) books. The opportunity to get free or cheap books is an overwhelming temptation to me. My eyes scan garage sales for book tables and I only stop if books are offered. A used book sale at the library is like a party to me. A recycling center which gives away books is a celebratory event. Books are beginning to occupy all the spare space in my home.

After admitting my powerlessness over books, I then came to rely on my higher power to overcome my powerlessness. I cried out, “Lord, I have too many choices over what to read and what to use to teach my children. Yea, verily, yet another curriculum supplier has graced my mailbox with its educational delights. Deliver me from this temptation.” Not really, but you know what I mean.

With so many choices in life, it becomes increasingly difficult to make good choices. I nod appreciatingly at the predicament of the missionary recently returned from the field who goes to the supermarket to buy a box of cereal. The array of choices is dizzying. When we teach our children, we must not only choose the cereal to feed them but also the materials to aid us in training their hearts and their minds. The choice involves methods, materials and cost. How can we choose wisely when there is so much from which to choose?

At midyear when the children and I are tired we are drawn to new materials. We may be half way through what we are using, but our attitudes have grown stale and the allure of trying something NEW is powerful. The one time when I have completely changed horses in midstream was tremendously confusing for my children. That experience, as well as being an avid consumer of catalogs and advertisements, activities and pursuits, has led me to a few conclusions about all the choices we can make for our children.

Before home schooling, when I thought of the quality of my children’s education, I focused on the qualifications of the teachers, the prestige of the school, the grades awarded and the array of activities available to complement the academics. After all, that was how I was raised. I was a good student, got good grades and had lots of fun experiences in school. But I grew up in a different generation, attended a religious school (for part of the time), lived in a neighborhood of families who were actively involved with one another and had classmates who came from mostly intact, God-fearing homes. To compare my educational experience to what the world had to offer my children was to compare apples to oranges. The world is different. Society is different. The path I must prepare for my children is different.

What are some of the touchstones we can use to aid our decision making? Three areas have been problematic to me in having too many choices: curriculum, books and activities.

The first area is curriculum. The thing to remember is that there is no perfect curriculum. I have been guilty of thinking, “If only this material was presented better, my children would be learning.” Usually it is not the fault of the curriculum, but rather some short-circuit in the relationship.

Learning, at its essence, is about relationships. Your child may learn to read using a spiffy video program. Or you may use home made flash cards and library books. It is a matter of personal preference, material availability and style. The child will still learn to read. The question of importance is whether you are communicating and teaching a love of reading and language to your child. You can do that with technology, or you can do it with seemingly old fashioned ways.

I used to worry so much about whether I was using the right stuff. The longer I home school, the more it becomes apparent that it isn’t about “stuff” at all. It’s about talking, relating, sharing, inspiring and loving. It’s also about my basic attitude towards learning and life. If that is not in order, is not positive and productive, then it really doesn’t matter what materials I am using.

The second significant point about curriculum is that if you have chosen a curriculum or method, then give it time to work. One bad week or even a bad month is not sufficient grounds to condemn your materials to the used curriculum fair.

Rather, ask yourself if there is something you can do to spice it up or make it more relevant to your child. Even the most mundane science discussion can be turned into an opportunity for experimentation, trying new ideas, presenting findings in a creative way, such a building a project, writing a book or making a display. The material of 3rd grade science, for example, will probably be pretty standard, regardless of which curriculum you use. The question to ask yourself is what can you and your child do to love what you are learning? Filling in blanks in a workbook may not cut it. But the same material may be played with and lingered over to turn it into something wonderful.

Conversely, sometimes the materials we use are too intense. Usually, there is no rule compelling you to do every problem in a workbook. If there are too many, cut some out. If it looks like you may not cover all the topics in science this year, so what? What you are omitting could make a perfectly wonderful summer project.

Sometimes we forget the freedom we have. Sometimes we take it for granted. Our children need to learn habits, character traits, research skills and some specific material, but they most importantly need to learn to love learning and knowledge. How that comes about is entirely up to you.

The second aspect of the over-choice problem for me is my passion for the printed word. I love to study, read and research. That is part of what attracted me to home schooling. I felt a real challenge in learning how children learn and how to motivate them. Plus the opportunity to relearn much of what I have forgotten of my own education was exciting to me.

Libraries and book stores are among my favorite places. I often browse at the library for my special alone time. The realm of ideas is tremendously exciting to me. It is precisely the easy availability of books and research tools which tempts me to be bogged down in them.

This can be huge a problem when home schooling. Being the home teacher requires a measure of self discipline and decisiveness. Each new idea cannot be tried and tested. I cannot read and digest every book about home schooling, much as I may try to do so.

Part of my book malady is my mistaken notion that the answers to many of life’s questions can be found within the pages of books. I still cling to this notion, sometimes. When I decide to try to lose weight, I will read ten books on the subject rather than simply cutting back on what I eat. When I have a behavioral issue with my children, I will read what all the experts say about the problem. When studying a particular book of the Bible, I might tend to want to read everything that everyone else has written about it, rather that studying the book myself and allowing the Holy Spirit to reveal Himself to me in my own private study.

Relying so heavily on the counsel of experts who have written books is not wise, particularly when God has provided us with the expert advice that we need with regard to teaching, training our children, marriage, finances and any other issue that might arise.

The solution to not becoming overwhelmed with too many book choices is to look first to the Word of God for our wisdom, advice and counsel. With that as our basis for research, we can wisely navigate the book aisles.

Someone once said that the hardest thing about home schooling is staying home. In the early days of home education, this was not a problem. There were too few opportunities for home schoolers to be involved outside of the home so the choices were limited.

Today, I could plan an outing for each day of the week, if I chose to do so. Scouts, AWANA, Pioneer Girls, 4-H. sports, co-op, enrichment classes - all could crowd out my week if I allow them to do so. Each of these opportunities needs to be evaluated in light of our education goals for our family.

We have found it helpful to ask whether the activity is going to deal with skills or knowledge, which we could pursue together as a family. If we can do it at home, we don’t need a group and a schedule and a car pool to enrich our children’s lives with that experience.

On the other hand, if it is something, which would be difficult for us to provide within the home, then we should consider the activity. Some of the reasonable outside activities we have engaged in have been piano lessons and gym class with our church home school co-op. I neither play the piano nor possess athletic ability, so I must rely on these outside sources for these things. Carefully chosen, these adjunct activities enrich our whole program, rather than merely stressing our family.

Too much activity, even valuable activity, leaves little time for free exploration, thought and chasing daydreams. In my own life, my busy-ness crowds out my relationship with God and with others. For a home schooler to have every hour over-booked misses the point and over stresses each member of the family.

Choices require wisdom, especially when there are so many things from which to choose. But we have confidence that God will grant us the wisdom to make wise choices if we will only seek His counsel.